• You reside in a cubicle
• Your job hours are 9-5 with strict breaks at certain times
• You have to clock in and are paid hourly
• You’re told to turn your music down or put on headphones because you are distracting the other McPeople 
• You need constant guidance in your job role or the reverse: you are being constantly supervised
• You catch the “Mondays”
• There are more power cords than outlets around you
• You alternate use of your desk with the evening/afternoon/morning workers
• You share a phone

Today at my “corporate” job I had to take a non-harassment seminar. I remember in school when they showed those videos in the vein of “what not to do” such as not bullying or doing drugs. This seminar, and in particular, its video on common situations and responses reminded me of those early-age school videos. What I remember most prominently is the lack of similarity to real life situations but more so the lack of real responses. Someone smacks you on the a** and what do you do? Not what the employees in the video today did. How come these seminars don’t utilize contemporary videos with more realistic dialogue and reactions? It’s like taking a driving test in a course that has no real cars, you won’t truly learn until you go out on the real road. Just like the appropriate responses and actions in the movie are not relevant because they are contained in a dry and unlikely atmosphere. Why are all these videos from the 80’s anyways? Perhaps I should make string of contemporary videos that are updated every year to stay relevant so that they are realistic. I think it could be a huge moneymaker! Employers would subscribe to my business and I would send them new materials often because times change and so do situations and people, so should the materials you present in a non-harassment seminar.

At my new job I park on the side of the building. For several hours the side of the building shades the entire 3-space wide 20 or so space deep parking lot. Then as the sun rises, all but the spots closest to the building are full in the sun. There are enough employees who park in the lot that there aren’t that many extra spaces. They aren’t particularly wide spaces either but they are spacey enough for normal-sized cars. The mini-cooper I’m driving fits perfectly in the spot. However, there is that one person who parks in two spots, right in the middle. They take up the one closest to the building and the middle spot. I think this is such a jerk move. Their car is not overly large or overly wide. I don’t think this is okay to do, even if they are “senior” employees because one car does not need two spaces. It’s not like it’s a Ferrari either. Jerks. It really bothers me that they do this. Gosh, didn’t they learn to stay within the lines in elementary school?

            Why is it that employees who have been with a company longer get more vacation time but are more integral to the company and therefore can’t take time away as easy or even at all (a la phone available during vacation) whilst new employees who aren’t that important get no vacation time at all? If I work longer and harder at a company I’m rewarded with something that I can’t fully take advantage of? Why aren’t I given the option to sign a contract with the employee stating terms on my end as well as theirs, such as I’ll commit to a year and they immediately commit to benefits and insurance, yadda yadda yadda…

Tired of the struggle? I’ve written past work numbers so many times I’ve re-memorized them. It’s difficult when you know most of the hard work won’t pay off. Once you get that rejection, all the work you’ve put into getting that particular job has to be trashed. The only thing you can do is dust off your original resume and work it for a new job. Don’t give up. Laugh.