Author Thursdays: Ch1

Author Thursdays: Chapter One

Once upon a time in a homely village high up in the mountains there was a well. It wasn’t a wishing well. It wasn’t a well that was used for water. For good or for bad this was a well full of anger, the town’s anger to be exact. Every month the townspeople gathered in the ragged clearing behind the cemetery to purify themselves with the well. Over the years the well had seen murderous thoughts, petty thievery, greed, jealousy, and many, many tears of spite.  And over time the well had grown black with the mold of disgust that crept slowly up its smoothed stones.

Zos held his mother’s hand tightly.  He was afraid. He could feel a terrifying pit of darkness coming from the well. It called to him, saying, “Zosimos, come close and peer into my depths. I want you. I need you.” Zos tried to back up but he was still connected to Chalysta, as if the lifeline between mother and child still existed. She scowled and yanked on his arm,

“It is time, Zosimos. You too are not exempt from anger. The town must be cleansed and you along with it.” She pulled him forward as she spoke.
They were standing in a line, waiting for the rest of the townsfolk to take their turn. Zos shuffled his feet and sucked in a breath of cold air. Even the air tasted black with turmoil. Zos felt lightheaded and dark-feelinged. He wanted so desperately to run off into the forest. It was right there, just beyond the well. His legs were short but if he took off his mother would be too surprised to run right after him and he could make it. He was just about to risk abandoning her when she yanked again on his arm and there they were.
“Zosimos.” The well whispered his name.
Zos ignored the call and instead concentrated on his task. He knew what he had to do. He gathered all his negative thoughts and imagined them traveling from his extremities inward to his torso and upwards through his body until they reached his head. He gathered himself and leaned over the well to expel them.
“Zos-“ He heard the well begin to pull him forward. “-imos.”
“No.” he whispered back as he tumbled into such a torrid place of anger that even closing his eyes couldn’t shut out the nightmares of 50 years’ worth of crippling energy and blinding fury.
Zos couldn’t see how his mother grappled for his arm again but in her haste and the well’s hurry, his hand slipped through hers. The townsfolk stepped back in fear and confusion. In all the months and in all the years, no one had ever fallen into the well.
For several moments too long Chalysta, the mother of the fallen child wailed and for several moments too long the people of the town stood still and watched. Then, even Chalysta was silent, and then they waited. A great fog began to roll in unannounced and smothered the feet of the onlookers, coiling around shoes like untied laces. The sky began to darken. In that moment there came a sound from the well.
“Help.” Zos yelped, the tears from his tightly shut eyes creeping down his face. Miraculously he felt no broken bones or hurt of any kind on his skin. His body felt stronger than it ever had. However, his mind felt in turmoil, a great blackness attempting to sheath his thoughts and overpower his self. “Help!” He cried louder. He opened one eye and barely spotted the light at the top of the well, worlds away from him. He didn’t want to be consumed by the darkness. “Help me.” He whispered feebly and shut his eyes once more, wishing it were just as easy to shut out the well.
Chalysta sprang into action. Her baby was hurt but he had spoken. He was alive! He must be rescued. She looked right and left in a panic. Rope. This was an abandoned well, not a place one would find usable tools. She spotted the mayor of the town, sliding backwards on his heel. His unease plain on his face. She turned to him, like a lion cornering a rabbit.
“We need rope.” She spoke, her words succinct.
“C-certainly.” He chattered back with a false smile. What went into the well was not supposed to come back out, ever.
One of the older children shouted, “I’ll get rope.” And took off.
Chalysta ran back over to the mouth of the well.
“Zosimos!?” She called down, careful not to touch any part of the rock or even the moss blackening its surface.
“Mother!” Zos cried feebly. He felt weaker and less able to block the well’s efforts. It was going to win. It would have him. It needed him. He could feel it. Its presence was overwhelming and its negative energy reeked of power. How could he stop it?
Rope was tossed at Chalysta’s feet. The boy peered at her apologetically and then hurried back several feet. They were all wary of the well but it was her baby down there! “Help me!” She implored the citizens of a town without anger, without depression, without antagonism. They stared at their toes in shame but stayed in their places, well away from the terror in front of them.
Then one small girl, no more than five, the minimum age to begin the ritual, came forward.  She held out a hand and chalysta hesitated only a moment before handing the end of the rope to the tiny girl. The girl, though petite, in that moment seemed strong. She was assured of herself and of doing what was right. She hadn’t noticed the petty actions of the townspeople. She was pure and good.
The rope uncoiled downward. The well tried to expel it but gravity was a powerful master and the rope eventually came to rest on the boy’s head. He did not know what had touched him but he felt that it was a power that matched the well’s and he grasped its end. The rope whispered to him now, much like the well had done, only the words were of encouragement and not ownership.
“Tie me around your waist.” The rope instructed him and he obeyed lifelessly, for he was lost in the foils of his own mind, being put to sleep by the command of the well. He didn’t hear the desperate pleas of his mother, trying to tell him that she loved him and would save him and that everything would be alright. He only felt a sliver of goodness trying to poke at him from the fibers of the rope but his body had tightened against any assault of goodness. He had been taken by the well and marked by it. He was now and forever its embodiment, its face.
Chalysta yanked on the rope and felt resistance. She indicated to the girl that all was ready and slowly they began to heave up on the rope. Chalysta was in tears, fearing the worst and hoping for the best. He must be conscious. He must be well. The girl, Alcina was her name, was pursing her lips in effort. She pulled with all her undeveloped muscles. She felt sorry for the poor distraught mother.
Alcina’s mother was also distraught. Her child was close, too close to the well and the same disaster that had befallen Chalysta’s child could befall her own dear girl. She wanted desperately to leap forward and grab Alcina in a great bear hug but feared getting too near the well herself. Instead, she stared with fear at her daughter.
An eternity passed as the rope crept slowly out of the well. Finally, Zos appeared, his eyes still shut tightly. He wasn’t moving and didn’t try to climb out of the midst of the well. Chalysta pasued for a moment but forgot her fear of the well and grabbed for her son, brushing her hands against the soiled surface of the well in the process. Dark tendrils of dirt leapt onto her hands like static electricity. She paid it no mind but pulled Zos into her arms, the rope still trailing off his waist. He was covered, head to toe in dirt that coiled around his body like veins. Alcina dropped the now useless rope in her hands and stepped back to give mother and son space. Alcina was snatched from behind as her own mother gathered her up. Alcina felt comforted. Her mother felt differently, she wanted to keep her daughter away from the boy. She had a bad feeling about him. It was more than the dirt that caked his skin, he was now soiled on the inside.
Now that the incident had passed, the townsfolk carefully finished up their monthly ritual, each person in turn taking a turn and spitting into the well. Unlike before, they did not feel like they were ridding themselves of troubles and ill will alike. The anger still clutched to their minds and bodies. They felt uneasy. What had occurred here today? Would life return to normal tomorrow? The mayor certainly hoped so. He did not want to be the mayor of a town in turmoil. That was not his job. His job was not to reconcile differences or to act as a mediator in the middle of conflict. There was no conflict! At least, there wasn’t supposed to be.
Slowly the mob of villagers drifted apart to head back into town. There was much to be done and the ones who had not made it out would also need to make the lengthy trek to the edge of town for the monthly ritual.
Chalysta half-carried her child. He plodded along methodically beside her, not seeing what was in front of them, not caring. Chalysta was worried but also frightened as the realization of what had happened hit her. She was not unlike the villagers in her founded fear of the well. It was a sinister pit that must be regarded carefully and yet Zos had touched its heart and she its outer extremity. She looked at her hands, the dirt almost as much a part of her skin as the angel kisses that dotted her arms. In that moment she felt desperate to wash herself and rid herself of these marks. She reached over and picked up Zos. She had never struggled to carry him before but he was heavier than she remembered, more solid and real. Whenever his sickness had overtaken his physical body in the past, Chalysta had to carry him home and care for him. It was different this time. She was holding him for comfort and he was letting her hold him because at the moment he was indifferent. Chalysta sensed that he did not and never would need to be carried again. Somehow he had found his manly strength, in the span of that one incident, and had grown up.

***

The mayor hurried back into town. He was anxious to check the town records. This incident was unprecedented for all that he knew, but he had only been the mayor for a few short years. Perhaps something like this had occurred in a previous mayor -ship and he could reference the records to figure out how to proceed.
“Back so soon? Is everything alright?” The mayor’s secretary leaned over her desk to peer at him.
“I need the Book of Incidents, Marina.” The mayor said curtly in his best no nonsense voice.
“A new incident? That hasn’t occurred in over seven months!” Marina stood up in shock. Her hands shook as she skittered out of the entranceway and to the back room. She had all but forgotten about the ritual. She had stayed behind from the main cleansing but she only had until sundown to make her way out to the lonely well. If she waited too long, it would be all but deserted and she did not fancy finding herself alone with all that evil.
The mayor settled into his plush chair and stared up at the grandfather clock that graced the mantelpiece. If he concentrated he could hear its faint ticking. The sound was unnerving so he tried to distract himself by thinking about the last mayor.
The last mayor, like all the mayors who had been elected before him, had been an excellent ruler. He was lauded by all the townsfolk, a man to look up to. He ruled the town through a great and lasting peace.
“Here Mr. Mayor.” Marina set the overly large tome down on the mayor’s desk.
The mayor opened up the book with awe and an appropriate level of respect. This book set the guidelines for any future precedents. Whatever had been the ruling for previous incidents was taken as more than just advice for any future similar or same incidents.
A small spider came scurrying out from between the pages and ran to the edge of the mayor’s desk and disappeared over the side.
First order of business was to document the incident that had just occurred. The mayor pulled out his quill and paused, poised above the page. He must write it out just so. Future mayors might read his report. Finally he scribbled down as precisely as he could, what had occurred,
February 22nd
Incident occurred at the well
Incident occurred at approximately 10:30 in the morning
Zosimos, son of Chalysta fell into the well. Chalysta and Alcina retrieved him using a piece of rope. Zosimos appeared conscious after retrieval. Evaluations of his physical and mental well being to be completed by tomorrow afternoon.

***
Zos traipsed dirt through the house. Caked pieces fell off his body in specks. He walked down the hall and bumped into the corner in his daze. He left a smudge mark on the wall but that didn’t faze him and he continued on his way to the back of the house. He went into the bathroom and turned on the water. 

“You okay in there?” Chalysta called from the back room. 

Zos opened his mouth to shout back but no sound came out. He strained his vocal cords, fighting with some inner beast. 

“Fine.” The word blurred with the effort he put in to get it out. It petered and died but Chalysta was still able to hear it.

“I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner, just holler if you need me.” She called back, her words stretched with the strain of a mother worried about her child. 

Zos didn’t bother fighting with that inner demon to reply. He checked the water temperature cascading in the shower with the back of his hand. It felt fine but reflexively he stuck a foot into the waterfall. Again, reflexively he turned down the temperature and without waiting for the temperature to change he stepped in delicately. 

Steam erupted out of the top of the shower. Zos maneuvered the shower head and tilted his head back, letting the cascade of water flow down, sticking his hair to his head. The water pooled around his feet, a dark and murky puddle. Zos grabbed the loofa mchanically and squirted some of the liquid soap into it. He scratched at the remaining dirt clinging to his body in swirls and patterns. Zos scrubbed harder, digging the loofa angrily into his skin, now trying to cleanse the memory of sitting helpless in the well, covered in the soot of thousands of unhappy people. The etched lines of filth wouldn’t come off his skin. Zos frantically threw down the loofa and clawed at one of the rivulets on his arm. A droplet of blood erupted like a miniature volcano, mingling with the water that continually washed over him. Zos grasped his other arm and held it up to his face, peering at the lines noodling in between his soft arm hairs. The dirt was seamless with his skin, like it was a part of his coloring. But it wasn’t. Zos rubbed the spot and felt no bumps or eruptions. This was his skin, felt like it, even smelled like it. Yet, like sidewalk cracks, his skin was now swirled with an ashy brown coloring. 

Chalysta began preparations for dinner. First, she brought out all the ingredients and herbs and pots and pans she needed to make the meal. She had almost forgotten to wash her hands! She had just been all over town and had even touched that blasted well, her hands were most likely riddled with germs. She went over to the sink and turned on the water, wetting her hands. It was then that she noticed the deep lines slinking across the palms of her hands. In her life Chalysta had worked hard and her hands reflected her ethic. They looked ten years older than she did, darker and more wrinkled than they should be. However, Chalysta thought that the lines were more pronounced, darker even. She poured some of the heavy duty dish soap onto her hands and rubbed them together. She wondered how Zos was, he must be extra cowed after his experience earlier. He was always a sickly child and had only recently begun to fill out and grow taller. Chalysta reflected on Zos as an infant as she scrubbed her hands and rinsed them off. She shook them solidly and then turned them toward her to inspect her work. 

“What in the…!?” Chalysta shouted in surprise. The lines had darkened, like all her blood vessels along the fault lines of her palms had burst under her skin. She gingerly poked at one of the lines but felt only the normal amount of pressure. It wasn’t blood then, or a bruise. It wasn’t dirt, eithor, for her hands were now clean. 

Zos turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He shivered as the cold air hit his body, even though oddly he didn’t feel cold at all. He grabbed a towel and brushed off the droplets of water, letting them catch within the fibers of the grey towel. Zos shut his eyes and shook his head and then tousled it firmly in the towel. He dropped the towel on the floor and grabbed for the clean set of clothes his mother had set on the shelf. He dressed quickly and then brushed his hair. He stood in front of the mirror as he always did but the mirror was fogged from the hot shower he had taken so he couldn’t see his reflection. He stared dully ahead and was able to make out the outline of himself through the condensation. 

Zos opened the bathroom door and felt drawn to the front door. Mechanically he reached for the knob and turned it slowly. He heard his mother talking in the kitchen but ignored the confusion in her voice. Without a sound he let himself out and closed the door behind him. The sun beat down, threatening to make him sweat. The morning clouds from earlier had passed and there was no gloomy fog in town. Zos stared up at the sky, an unusually bright shade of blue. The sky was perfectly blue in fact which made Zos frown. A sour bile crept under his tongue and he swallowed, making a face. The sun was too direct on his skin and he felt himself burning and so hurried into the shade of a neighbor’s tree. He felt compelled and his feet seemed magnetized. Zos did not bother trying to resist but instead scuttled from the shade of one tree to the next until he had made his way deep into the heart of the village. Presently he passed the barber shop and the butcher shop and started to see the other villagers out and about as well. 

Yuridia was exiting the butcher’s when she saw Chalysta’s boy. She let out a gasp of horror and surprise. She dropped her basket and stared as he walked passed. She turned to Mara, who happened to be nearby.

“Do you see him?” She tapped Mara nervously on her shoulder.

Mara’s head swiveled first to look at Yuridia and then quickly outward to see what she was so anxious about. She spotted Zos immediately. 

“Oh my goodness! What horror!” She cried in a whisper. She felt that she did not want Zos to notice her or look there way. It was just too unpleasant. The two ladies crouched into each other, trying to blend in as they whispered uneasily to each other about the boy walking unknowingly past.

Zos felt eyes on him but ignored the feeling. He concentrated on his feet. There were no more trees and he was wholly exposed to the rays of the sun. He was sweating now, and he was more than simply overheated. The sun’s rays were like infinitesimally small rays of lightning and his skin was on fire. This was why he did not at first notice how the other villagers were openly staring at him. When finally he picked up his head and looked around him he saw them watching him with more than horror. They was unabashed unleashed anger in their faces. 

“Monster!” Cried one man.

“Detestable thing!” Cried another. 

Then the villagers began to creep forward, gaining power in their unity.

“Devil of a child!” 

“It’s evil!”

“It must be killed.”

Zos did not feel the sun anymore. The rays of hate from his neighbors’ eyes bore into his skin now but he was not afraid. Zos began to feel what he had never felt before. He began to feel angry, powerfully mad in fact. His chest puffed out. He had stopped where he stood. He stared back at the people and they took a collective step back. When he did not do anything else, they took a step forward and their insults grew louder. 

Suddenly the crowd hushed and made an opening that the mayor stepped through. Sweat trickled down his face as he regarded the boy who was no longer a boy but had not quite grown into a man. 

“Leave this town!” The mayor shouted from ten feet away, loud enough for all the gathered villagers to hear. “Your evil is not welcome here. Your anger does not belong among the Freyans.” His voice was steady and booming. 

Zos’s anger boiled inside, and the heat from the sun on the outside of his skin met with the fire raging on the inside of him. The veins of dirt that was no longer dirt blackened, turning onyx black. The crowd gasped and squeezed tighter together, seeking solace and protection in each other. The mayor frowned and held up a hand,

“Stop! You are not welcome here any longer. Zosimos, you are hereby banished from the town of Frey!”

The mayor took one step forward, stomping down in the dirt for emphasis. Zosimos regarded the mayor and townsfolk testily. He turned his head up to the heavens and roared out of every pore. Black blood dripped out of the blackened lines that creased his face and hands and legs. Droplets fell onto the ground, staining the dirt. 

Then Zosimos was gone, with the speed and agility of a terrorized predator, leaving behind only the small spot of sullied earth.

Wildlife Wednesdays: A hike

Wildlife Wednesdays: Wilderness Creek Trail

My friend can attest (quite heartily in fact) that I am notoriously bad with directions. I have gotten lost in buildings, parking lots, and whilst driving. Finding the Wilderness Creek Trailhead was no different. The little parking lot was tucked away and not very visible to either side of the road. However, I was quite proud that I only passed the entrance once.
I quite liked how this trail was ripe with miniature bridges such as this winding one and the more standard one pictured below.

 

There were also many choices for side trails. The only thing the trail lacked was a spectacular view from the top. There was an indicated “end” or top but the trees were too tall to see anything spectacular. There was, though, a geocache just waiting to be found at the two benches you can sit on while trying to peer between the massive branches of the trees.

Miscellaneous Mondays: Movie Madness

Miscellaneous Mondays: Movie Madness
Ten seconds into the movie Spring Breakers and I thought, “What in the world?” I was also slightly uncomfortable that I had asked my stepmother to come watch it with me. Wouldn’t you be too if your age group was portrayed as slow-motion shaking booties and breasts? Not to mention more than just bad decisions by the characters but the director, editor, writer, producer, actors etc. The entire movie was a bust with only one redeeming quality. I got to see several shots of my college and even identified some of my classmates. What in the world James Franco, are you trying to be Johnny Depp?  I think you need a character with a bit more depth to pull that off, instead of one who can’t seem to spout off more than several lines multiple times and no, “Spring break” is not a memorable take home quote, it is a common phrase already in use. Soft core porn is better than this. Even those movies (National Lampoon franchise?) have a plot. This one kept on and on, implying they were getting to the center story but no, just more slow-motion beach scenes and alcohol and money being thrown around. I was bored. Bored! A movie with sex, drugs, alcohol, partying, violence and I was bored. The characters were one-dimensional and their personal/back stories were implied but not explored so the audience was left hanging. The weird sound effect scene changes (a gunshot) were annoying and unnecessary and did not add anything to the movie. Once again I lament the portrayal of America/college/Spring Break/young adults/etc that this movie has made. 
Spring Breakers? More like Spring Flop

Seattle-Specific Saturdays: 405

Seattle-Specific Saturdays: I Don’t Mind the Weather But I Can’t Stand the…
 
 
Fill-in-the-blank….
 
1. Traffic
 
or perhaps
 
2. Coffee
 
or perhaps
 
3. All that greenery
 
 
What is it about Washington or the PNW (Pacific Northwest) that you can’t stand?
 
 
I spent my early childhood in Washington. I do not recall the traffic when I was a child most simply because I was not a driver back then, obviously. I did not harp on the weather or the rain because as a child I didn’t know any “better” weather. It was what it was and I loved it. There were trees to hide behind and hills to climb. There were rivers to float down and forests to explore. There were parks. So many parks! As an adult, having lived in Florida for the better part of my later childhood and having visited multiple other states and countries I have experienced a bit of variety. I am able to compare life in WA with life in other locations. Yet, I still love WA and I don’t mind the weather but I can’t stand the traffic. 
 
 
Ode to 405
 
Interstate 
Oh how I hate
When to wait, wait, wait
You make me late, late, late.
 
 
 
 
 

Author Thursdays: Twenty-Five Words or Less

Author Thursdays: Twenty-Five Words or Less
Here is an activity for you: Write out a one sentence summary – in twenty-five words or less – telling what the book is about. It’s a “surefire way of finding out if your plot works or not; if you can’t do it, your plot is in trouble.” (87, Seuling). 
Here is my current work-in-progress:
Boy falls into well; becoming the feared beast and unleashing ancient evil. Girl is sacrificed to the beast but he loves her, saving them all.
I feel like it doesn’t do justice to the nuances of plot I have marked out but with such a word-limit, my twists and turns just didn’t fit. 
Your turn! Turn your current novel, short story, poem, etc into an enticing and telling Twenty-Five Words or Less Summary.
Don’t forget that Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words, “For sale: baby shoes, never used.”


“How to Write a Children’s Book and Get It Published [Paperback].” How to Write a Children’s Book and Get It Published: Barbara Seuling: 9780471676195: Amazon.com: Books. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 Apr. 20.13

Wildlife Wednesdays: Light-Skirt Caches

Wildlife Wednesdays: Light-Skirt Caches
Recently I was looking up blogs about geocaching to follow. I found a link to a website that talked about light skirt caches. They are quite popular but they can also be dangerous, I found out. Check out the blog:
His picture of an electrical burn victim was quite gruesome and most intriguing. Could that really happen during my happy geocaching adventures? Johnny Geo points out that light skirts are there to encase the housed electrical equipment and even though most of the time if you lift up the skirt the wires and electrical bits are contained, it doesn’t mean that it is safe.
I am a big geocaching advocate but this is a concern. Check out his blog for more in depth information and some grody and disturbing photos.

Toiling Tuesdays: Would you lie to get the job that isn’t your dream job?

Toiling Tuesdays: Would you lie to get the job that isn’t your dream job?

I walk up and open the door. I hold it open for two ladies to exit and for one man to enter. Then I gather myself and walk in briskly. I want to make a good first impression, that I’m upbeat and ready for anything. I put on a smile and walk in to the dining area proudly, peeking around the corner to find someone who works there. It is almost 4PM and the dining area is deserted. A lady comes around the corner, “Can I help you?” She asks. “As a matter of fact, I saw that you were hiring a server and I wanted to apply.” I answer professionally and cheerfully, as if I have no where better to be but at this particular establishment  “Here is the lady you must speak to then.” The first lady beckons over to another lady. The second lady wastes no time, “Do you have experience with breakfast?” She scrutinizes me. I wish I had not just thrown a nice sweater over my black Beatles t-shirt. I feel that she can tell I cheated on my dress that day. “Well.” I pause. Crap. That was the moment to reassure her that I lived for breakfast. That I knew all about eggs and toast. But that’s not quite true. I never worked in a true breakfast environment. And if I was going to embellish or straight out lie about my prior experience I had already botched it with that pause. “I worked at a gracious retirement living center working many of the morning shifts, which were breakfast. I have also worked over three years in the food service industry.” I say swiftly. I have lost her. I can tell she has already said no in her mind. “This position requires experienced breakfast. We are very busy and we don’t have time to train. I’m sorry but we’re looking for someone with experience.” She basically shoos me out the door without even a chance to boast about how I can handle most anything, learn quick and fast, and am entirely up for the challenge. She is a no-nonsense gal and if only I had lied about my previous working experience I might have gotten the job but did I really want that job?

Foodie Fridays: the Involved Salad

Foodie Fridays: the Involved Salad
Definition: The involved salad is composed of lettuce and one or more other elements. Also refer to the super involved salad composed of lettuce and many other elements. Also, simply the salad, of which there is only lettuce.
The Involved Salad Typical and Atypical Ingredients:
  • Mixed greens (the darker the better)
  • Tomatoes (Campari or Cherry are my favorites)
  • Peppers (I like to use yellow and orange ones for that fresh burst of flavor and color)
  • Carrots (Chopped is the best way to go believe it or not)
  • Avocado (See previous Foodie Friday post)
  • Hummus (Add the protein and the garlic zest)
  • Broccoli (Tear the florets up and toss them in)
  • Sun-dried tomatoes (Pack a powerful punch of flavor so be careful not to use that many)
  • Artichoke hearts (Break them up into small pieces)

Wildlife Wednesdays: The DNF

Wildlife Wednesdays: The DNF

 

 Sometimes time and space align to bring you a moment of irony. Some call it “perfect timing” while others refer to this phenomenon as hilarious.

I am a geocacher. It is one of the hobbies I pursue regularly and think about often. DNF’s or Did Not Find’s are nothing more than a challenge for the average geocacher. They present a learning opportunity, a chance to advance your craft, and a way to hone your finding skills. At times they can be aggravating, such as when the DNF signifies a cache that is actually missing, misplaced, or with wildly inaccurate coordinates. In all my geocache finds (200 now), only very few have I found when they were misplaced or far from the Ground Zero coordinates. Of those that I have found, I have looked for at least 50 more that I did not find. Sometimes I didn’t bother putting enough effort looking for these or the area was too muggle heavy and I planned to go back to look. Some of these, though, are truly missing. And here is the geocacher crux. I don’t want to assume that when I can’t find it, it doesn’t exist but I’m getting close to that point in my geocaching career that when I can’t find it, it truly is missing or buried in the forest without markings.

Here is the story of my favorite DNF:

At an undisclosed location in Washington State, two friends were hunting for caches in the area. She chose one and the hunt began. Behind a historic building at a sign was ground zero. It was fairly dark and the two friends whipped out their phone flashlights and swept up and down the sign and the surrounding area. After a thorough search, they looked up the hint, but still nothing. After twenty more minutes overturning every stone, they gave up. A week later she went back by herself and spent half an hour searching. She searched high and low and turned over every rock again. In the daylight, she was convinced that she was going to find it. She was fairly convinced, going over all the previous logs that it was on or very close to the sign but nothing. A week later they both went back, determined to find that sucker. He started perusing one side of the sign and she the other. Exasperated that it was difficult to find and obviously a creatively concealed cache, she said, “I’m convinced it’s on the sign but there’s nothing that comes off.” And with that she grabbed a chunk of wood in her hand to exaggerate her point and lo and behold it came off in her hand. They had finally found the DNF and could log it as a smiley.