There are many ways to propose… Such as with movement and strangers a la flashmob. Or in a stereotypical stadium scoreboard/ring in the champagne/down on one knee.

But what do all – most – proposals have in common?

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The ring!

I propose (see that pun there?) that the proposal utilize something other than a devalued piece of jewelry. Even ingots of gold are worth more than a cut diamond that loses value as soon as you take it off the ‘lot’.

Here are a few of my ideas and why…

– A Pet

      Not just any pet but a shared kitty/doggy/tiger/etc. Psychologically speaking the more shared resources/investments you have, the more likely you are to stick with your relationship. We can’t break up because it would negatively affect the kids! Insert your preferred pet as “kids” in that last sentence and voile!

– A Lasting Valued Resource

     Nothing says I love you like a lifetime supply of toilet paper! Just kidding but think of a shared resource you might need if you are to live with the person you are proposing to (until death do you part) or something that can be sold when times are tough such as gold/silver/platinum/bullets. We’re looking for things that will always be in demand.

– Something Similar in Price to a Ring but Useful Sooner Than a Ring

    A ring is valueless until it is sold, right? It might add value over the long run or you might lose it at the beach or to a mugger. However, something like a car has instant gratification value and would get much more use over time than a silly old ring. I’m sure there are many ‘things’ that fall into this category.

Don’t just submit to the diamond ring fads, ask your gal or guy what they really truly think signifies trust and passion and a lasting commitment to a relationship. I don’t think the first thing I would say is a polished stone. You can fake jewelry (Cubic Zirconium galore) but you can’t fake a car or a cat or a house in the Bahamas.

Did you know that you can pay someone to write your dating profile for you? They will even respond to your messages for you! If this is not ironic, I don’t know what is.

     There comes a point in many a relationship where you reach the next level and give it that controversial label: love. What is love? In my opinion there are many types and levels of love. At the base, there is the love for inanimate objects in general and activities. For example, I love chocolate and geocaching. The next level is love for specific objects and/or activities. In this case, I love kit kats (above other chocolates). My love for these “things” is unwavering but may fluctuate in intensity from day to day or week to week.

     More so than an inanimate object is the love for a person. Still, this love is broken up into levels and types. I love my mother (what some would refer to as unconditional love). Love for family is a bit different than the love you might feel for a good friend. “I love you, dude!” may be a sarcastic remark but it can hold true. There is and can be love in a friendship. Friends are like family some would say and even though blood is thicker than water, my love runs deep because we chose to be friends with one another.

     Then there is the love of a significant other. The problem with this type of love is that there are so many expectations placed on it that it is doomed to fail from the start. Love that lasts a lifetime is a rarity and doesn’t take into account that people change. You may not have the same friends you did several years ago, they fade in and out of your life, not a big deal. But when lovers come and go, it is more consequential. Is there lasting love? Is romantic love restricted to one at a time, aka serial monogamy? Or is there a “soulmate” for everyone, meaning you get one and only one chance at happily love ever after? There are so many questions in regards to this type of love, that you may begin to question the very essence of love. What is love?

The MSN homepage is fraught with pop-media. I don’t suggest reading their elementary articles full of simple facts and guessable endings but sometimes I just want to see what they say…. So I clicked on one that said, nice things guys do that women secretly hate. I disagree largely because the author of the article (more like pictures with captions) states these in a general truthfulness in that they are relatable to every relationship. Just like the author’s assumption that women secretly don’t like these “nice” things guys do he/she makes the same assumption of the audience agreeing with him/her. The nice things women secretly don’t like are as follows:

1. Calling us creepy nicknames

        For example: doll. As the article only gives one example of what “creepy” is I have trouble agreeing or disagreeing. Creepy is a fairly strong adjective and I wouldn’t want to be called anything creepy but if the word “doll” is considered creepy then I’m not sure I agree with this one. If it’s a blind date then it might be creepy but it could also be an acceptable form of endearment. Context is needed here.

2. Ordering for us in a restaurant

     Again, this one depends on the length and depth of relationship. Sometimes I like for him to order for me, especially in a restaurant say in a country he is familiar with and I am not. Or if we decide what we want and he “orders” for me when the waiter comes so then there isn’t an awkward pause of who goes first.

3. PDA on social media

      I would re-coin this to “excessive” PDA or unwanted PDA on social media. Just PDA once in a while is cute.

4. Assuming we like roses

     I like random thoughtful gifts but I agree wholeheartedly I don’t want all guys assuming I like roses. As I’ve mentioned previously, a bouquet of tomatoes or something edible (or not tainted by any hint of someone in a sweatshop poring over the flowers) is always preferable for me.

5. Getting a tattoo of our name or face anywhere on their body

    Never appropriate. Unless, agreed upon by both parties but I would still frown on it.  

6. Hopping in the shower with us (uninvited)

    Also depends on your level of relationship. If you hop in uninvited and lather up my hair or massage my shoulders I would always welcome the company.

7. Thinking sexy lingerie is a gift for us
 
        I have never received sexy lingerie as a gift and if someone could get my size right I would love to receive sexy lingerie as a gift! Have at it boys!

8. Dedicating a song for us at a karaoke bar

      Depending on how sappy you get and what song you’re singing, this doesn’t strike me as inappropriate or as something a woman would secretly despise.

9. Ordering one shake with two straws

      I love to share! Nowadays nobody really needs that super sized shake all to themselves, it’s huge and like 1000 calories! I think this is cute and romantic to share.

I may be young, hip and cool but I just don’t understand the smartphone date. You know what I’m talking about, the young – middle aged couple who goes out on a date and spends 75% of the face time with their eyes glued to their cell screen. Don’t you know how ridiculous you look with a minuscule computer six inches from your face? You look like the blubber-balls from Wall-E. And even when not on a date, per se but an outing or a social gathering you cannot socially function without plodding away on Facebook, twitter, tumblr, twitter, blogger, tickld, etc. You are the most self-absorbed socially backwards bunch of awkward teens (or adults really) people I have ever seen. At least have the decency to pay attention to your surroundings and respect those you have come out to see/visit/hang out with. It is incredibly rude to do what I call “time waste” on your phone while in a social setting. Unless you are helping a friend with directions or taking a call from your mother, I should not see you tippity tapping away on your smartphone. I do not care if you want to show me that video you are thinking about right this second. You know what we did back in my day? We played footsie with each other. Just kidding. We talked and laughed and made eye contact. You know, 20 years from now you’ll be cross eyed from staring at a tiny screen for years and you won’t have any real friends anymore, only Facebook friends and followers. And far away, on what used to be Earth, two little robots are falling in love.